Slipping Away
by Nitevision
Summary: AU. First Person. Roxas is 16 year old with a great friend and amazing girlfriend... but things for him are hardly perfect Rated M for launguage and drug use
1. Chapter 1

I laid awake in my bed just staring off into the darkness that was surrounding me, a faint red light glowing on my face, my alarm clock. I glanced over at it and sighed, it was almost four in the morning, I hadn't been able to sleep at all that night, I didn't even feel tired. For what must've been the hundredth time that night I ran through the events of the day in my head. I had always had an anger problem, never being able to hold it in, but not around her, not until today.

"What's the matter with me?" I said quietly to myself

 **Earlier That Day…**

I was walking through the halls of my school, constantly checking around corners and looking behind my back trying to avoid teachers. I was in the middle of skipping Geometry. There was a test, but I had no plans on taking it, I'd rather have spent the period in detention. ' _Naminè would be pissed if she knew I was skipping a test'_ I thought

I had met Naminè a few years back when I was in 8th grade. She's in the grade below me, but super smart so she takes advanced classes so we were in the same math class. I was in the verge of flunking the class before she started helping me out. A few months and more than a few pep talks from Hayner (my best friend) later I had asked her out, and we've been going steady since.

Since it was the last period of the day I was headed towards my locker, there was only ten minutes until the last bell would ring. I was checking around the final corner to my locker when my worst fears were realised.

"Hey!" A voice called out to me. I didn't recognize it as a teacher but it was still familiar. I turned around to see blonde silver hair tucked under a black beanie and blue eyes looking right at me. It was Seifer, the self proclaimed leader of the 'Twilight High Disciplinary Club' it was just a bunch of bullshit to me though.

"Skipping class is against the rules y' know" That was Seifer's "bodyguard" Rai, he did anything Seifer said and followed him around anywhere. He was stupid too, always saying y' know after every sentence, but he looked like he lived at a gym because he had enough muscles for all three of us.

"Aren't the two of you skipping too?" I said annoyed already, I was holding in my anger though, just like Naminè told me, deep breaths.

"No, no, no" Seifer replied, "We're patrolling for losers like you"

"Yeah only losers like you skip class y' know" Rai added in

Well did they know how to push someone's buttons. I still tried to stay calm though I took a deep breath before saying something back.

"Look can't you guys just leave me alone for once" I said, my anger showing just a tad.

Seifer smirked, "I can't just let you go, that would make me look bad" He replied cooly, "What are you doing wandering around anyway?"

His words just kept on making more and more angry, but I tried to hold it in. ' _Count backwards from ten'_ I thought, another technique Naminè suggested to me.

' _Ten'_

"You gonna answer me, or just stand there like an idiot?"

' _Nine'_

"Well I'll just try and guess what you were doing out here."

' _Eight'_

"Trying to find your drug dealer friend Lea?"

' _Seven'_

"Good one Seifer y' know"

' _Six'_

"Did you want to find Hayner and make out with him or something?"

' _Five'_

"Haha Seifer, you're killing me y' know"

' _Four'_

*Or maybe…"

' _Three'_

"Looking for your whore girlfriend"

I glared up at him with murderous intent after that one. I don't care if he insults me, I've gotten used to that, but Naminè? That was too far for me.

' _I'm gonna fucking kill him'_ I thought

He noticed the look in my eyes and chuckled for a moment, "Struck a ner-"

That's all he got out before my fist crashed into his face. He fell onto his back and I noticed the cut forming on his face from my rings. I attempted to move towards him but a hard punch to my stomach stopped that. That was courtesy of Rai, I crumpled onto my knees. Rai though grabbed my arms and held them behind my back and lifted me up.

"You're done" Seifer said visibly livid

He planted a punch right to my ribs, another to my chest, and finally one to my stomach. He knocked the wind out of me and I started going down, but Rai straightened me out.

"If you beg to me" He said right in my face, "Maybe I'll let you go"

That was something I'd never do so, I spit in his face instead. If he was mad before he was at the boiling point now. With a tremendous amount of force he punched me straight in the nose. ' _Fuck that hurt! I think this fucker broke my nose!'_ Blood started trickling from my nose but Seifer wasn't done. He punched me one last time right below my right eye. Rai let me go and I fell straight to the ground in extreme pain.

"And for good measure" Seifer said, before planting a hard kick into my ribs. Him and Rai started walking away, and were about to turn the corner when just like before another voice yelled.

"Hey" And just like before I knew who it washiEraqus one the principal at our school. He was an older guy, and almost every student respected him. Seifer froze, and Rai ran off, it brought a bit of happiness to me that he was scared, besides there's no way I could get in trouble for getting beat up right? I was wrong. Eraqus walked me and Seifer into his office and shut the door.

"So do one of you gentleman want to explain to me what happened?" Eraqus said sternly

I started to open my mouth but unfortunately Seifer beat me to it.

"I was going to the bathroom from class and saw Roxas wandering the halls" He started, "I told asked him if he should be in class and he attacked me! And I had to defend myself."

"Is this what happened?" Principal Eraqus turned to me

"No" I said my voice shaky from anger, "He saw me in the hallway, and made fun of me and my friends, that's why I punched him"

"So you admit you started this altercation?" He asked me

I sighed of course I'm the one who'll end up in trouble, "Yes"

"For skipping class and fighting that's two weeks lunch detention starting next Monday" He looked over at Seifer next, "As for you, you'll serve one detention tomorrow"

"That's bullshit!" I yelled out before I could stop myself

"Make that one month" Eraqus said back, I was about to say something else, but he silenced me with a look.

I just walked out of his office and Seifer followed behind me. Once we were out of earshot Seifer got closer to me.

"Have fun in detention loser" He said laughing

I would've punched him again, but, I didn't want to be suspended. I just ignored him and went on to my locker. The final Bell had rung and the day was over. I looked in the small mirror in my locker door and saw my nose was no longer bleeding luckily, but I had gotten a black eye. ' _Just great'_ I grabbed my skateboard out of my locker and strapped it to my backpack and threw on my jacket before closing it and headed for the doors.

As soon as I left the school I felt the cool November air hit me. It was only two days off of Thanksgiving. Anyway, I saw Naminè and Hayner talking to each other waiting for me. I took a deep breath and put up my best front so they wouldn't see how angry I was. I walked up to them.

"What's up?" I said catching there attention.

As I expected the first thing they noticed was the black eye I was sporting. Naminè was visibly worried and poked at the spot right under my eye I flinched when she touched it, it still hurt.

"Where'd you get the shiner?" Hayner asked me

"Me and Seifer got into it" I replied, now Hayner looked a bit worried. He knew my track record against Seifer wasn't good, "Don't worry, you should've seen what he looks like."

That seemed to put him and Naminè at ease a little. I knew it wasn't true though, my stomach and chest were on fire and probably covered in bruises, not to mention my nose was pouring blood not five minutes ago, but at least they bought it.

"I guess I taught you well, that's my boy!" Hayner exclaimed giving me a light punch to the chest, I was still sore though and I winced a bit on contact, luckily he didn't notice.

"Oh please" I said back, laughing " You couldn't even beat Naminé in a fight"

"Hey!" She exclaimed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well you see," I started holding back a laugh, "You're really small and, well weak"

She put her hand up to her chest pretending to be hurt, "I am not!"

"I think I gotta agree with Roxas on this one" Hayner added, she attempted to push him but he wouldn't budge.

"See what I mean?" I said, she slapped me on the chest and turned her head in mock anger. But damn did that slap hurt, my body was still in pain from Seifer's beating. I hid my pain from them as well as I could though.

"Well this is where I say goodbye." Hayner said after we walked a little bit longer. "See ya guys"

"See ya man" I said

"Bye Hayner" Naminè said giving him a wave.

Hayner and I actually live pretty close to eachother, but ever since I've been dating Naminè I always walked her home before going home myself. We walked in silence most of the way there, but I could tell something was off with Naminè.

I decided to break the silence, "What's wrong?" She pondered my question for a moment.

"Could you…" She started, "Lift up your shirt?" I already knew what this was about, she knew that I was in more pain then I let on. Rather than going along with it, I tried to play it off.

"Wow Nami, I know I'm hot, but you can at least wait until we get to your house before you undress me." I gestured towards her house off in the distance. She blushed a little from that, and I hoped to God that would work.

"I'm serious Roxy" She said

I sighed and knew that I had to fold, there was no getting out of it. I gulped nervously and lifted my shirt halfway up. This was the first time I saw also, my abdomen was covered in purple and green blotches. It even made me shudder a little.

Naminè gasped immediately, "Oh my God…" she whispered

"Hey, don't worry, it's really not that bad." I lied

"Roxas, you look like you fell off a cliff! You could have broken ribs or internal bleeding!" She ranted, this is what I didn't want to happen, for her to worry like this. Especially since that wasn't even the worst beating I've gotten from Seifer. "What were you two fighting about anyway!?"My"He said some things about you, so I punched him in the face" I started off, "Then, that's when him and Rai beat me up."

"You started it all because of me!?" It surprised me that she was actually angry about that. "I don't care what people say or think about me, so neither should you."

"Gee, you could at least thank me, you know I did get beat the shit out of for you!" I don't know why I got as angry as I did. Probably because of all the things that had happened that day, my fight with Seifer, and Eraqus' bullshit.

"Why would I thank you?! It's your fault you got beat up not mine!" She yelled, the truth of her words stung, this was all my fault, I just didn't want to say it. "It's not my fault you throw a fit every time somebody even looks at you the wrong way like a psychopath!"

She was right, but I was far too pissed to admit that or even think rationally at this point. If there was anything I hated it was when someone compared me to my father, or when someone called me psycho. ' _Are you fucking serious! A psychopath!?'_ I thought

"What the fuck Naminè." I said, more than I was angry, I was hurt her of all people would call me that. "What the fuck!*

That time I had screamed it and I saw Naminè shrink back. I didn't want her to be afraid but I was extremely pissed at this point.

"Look Roxy, I'm sorry I said that" She sounded sincere, like she really felt bad, but I wasn't having any of it, "Why don't you come over to my house, and we can talk about it?"

She touched my shoulder but along with her statement and aforementioned reasons I was still pissed. I shrugged her off of me.

"No Naminè I wouldn't want to plauge your home with a psycho like me." I stated my voice full of malice

"I'm sorry Roxy" She commented, "I'm just really worried about you"

"Well you know what? I never asked you to worry for me, so why don't you just mind your own damn business!" I yelled at her again, I didn't want to but I just couldn't stop myself anymore.

"Well maybe" She started, her voice shaky, she was probably holding back tears, "Maybe I don't want to see you for awhile!"

I was in disbelief now ' _Did she really just say that?'_ We had gotten into fights before, but nothing like this, and she'd never said anything like that. After a moment of hurt, I was overflowing with rage. I reached my arm out towards her and she flinched, I grabbed her locket. I had gotten it for her a few months ago for our one year anniversary, it had a picture of us at the beach. I tugged on it, and the chain snapped around her neck and she gave out a small yelp. I looked down at it for a moment.

"Roxas, please stop!" She pleaded with me, she was definitely holding back from crying right now. It was a plea on deaf ears however, I threw the locket into the distance. I turned around and she had a look of pure horror. Tears were now flowing freely down her face and she ran off towards her house.

I watched her leave and disappear into her home, I wanted to go after her but I didn't want to face her family, so I decided to give her space. I threw my skateboard onto the ground and got in, I pushed off the ground and started home.

' _What the fuck have I done? What's wrong with me?'_

 **Present…**

I was still laying in my bed staring off into the dark. The things that happened the past day haunting me, keeping me from falling asleep. I decided it was time for me to go to sleep. I made my way towards the bathroom taking care to not wake my sleeping mother. Opening up the medicine cabinet behind the bathroom mirror grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills. Next, I went towards the kitchen to fill up a glass of water and I returned to my room. I dumped about five or six pills on my nightstand ' _It's been awhile since I've turned to this'_ I thought

I grabbed the pills and put them in my mouth followed by a few gulps of water. It took a few minutes to kick in, but my vision started going blurry, I passed out a few seconds later.

 **A/N:** Well first I'd like to thank those who made it this far. Anyway this is my first ever fic so I'd appreciate a review to let me know how I'm doing. Also, I'll probably be updating this on Wednesdays if I can so look out for chapter 2.


	2. Chapter 2

I let out a groan when I woke up, I was unimaginably sore I'd have to get Seifer back someday. Oh, who was I kidding each and every time Seifer and I got into a fight, I would end up with a fresh batch of bruises. I was hurting too much to want to move around, so instead I started to think. I didn't want it to happen, but shortly my thoughts arrived at a single destination, Naminè.

Memories of her and I went through my head, the day we first met, when I first asked her out, and the first time we kissed. I threw all of that away because I had to act like an angry little kid and act like it was somehow her fault I got beat up. Maybe she was right when she had called me a psycho, I really shouldn't have gotten mad at her like I did. I often asked myself why I always got so angry, but I never had an answer for myself even though deep down I knew.

Everything had started when I was about ten years old. For years my parents were always fighting, but I guess it took until then for me to actually notice how bad it was. Nearly everytime I saw my mom she would have bruises on her arms and sometimes her face and her eyes would be red as if she'd been crying. She'd make excuses about why she always looked like that but I knew that it was my dad doing it, and as you can imagine that made me angry, but there wasn't anything I could do. Rather, I would take it all out on my friends, my classmates and occasionally a teacher.

A couple years later when I was twelve it was as if my dreams finally came true, and my parents split. After that had happened me and my mom had moved to Twilight Town, but nothing really changed for me. I don't know why I still got angry like I did, maybe it was that I felt he didn't get like he deserved, maybe it was just all bottles up, I just didn't know. I went through a counseling at request of my mom but that didn't help either, because I never told them anything. Over the course of time things did die down a bit between getting friends like Hayner, and Naminè. I guess the other day only proved things didn't get much better for me.

I was pulled from my thoughts though when there was a light knocking on my door. It was opened and it was none other than my mom standing on the other side. "Roxas." She said sweetly, "You're late for school." I looked over at my clock for the first time that morning and saw it was almost noon, it never occurred to me what time it was or that I had school. The pills I had taken the night before probably let me sleep through my alarm. Unfortunately for me that was the least of my worries at the moment, for if I sent into school today I'd have to see Naminè and that was something I didn't want to do. "Can I just stay home? I'm really tired and I don't feel too well." I lied, well sorta, I was actually tired and I was in pain, but that's not why I wanted to stay home.

"I suppose so." To a normal person it would appear she ate the lie, but I knew otherwise she'd ask me about it later. "Now I have to go to work, stay in the house for today, I love you."

"Love you too mom." I said in response. With that she left my room, and after a few minutes she left the house leaving me alone. I heard her car pull out of the driveway and fell back onto my bed with a sigh.

After a while of laying there it became clear to me that falling back asleep was out of the question. It was as if a cloud of guilt from the day before was keeping me from sleep. There was only one solution to that particular problem in my mind, so I sat up and grabbed my phone of my nightstand. When I unlocked my phone I was actually disappointed to see that there wasn't anything from Naminè, but that was to be expected. There was however a message from Hayner asking if I knew what was up with her, I decided to ignore that. Anyway, after scrolling through my contacts for a little while I found who I was looking for Lea.

Lea was one of the closest people to me, we had met a few summers back when I first moved to Twilight Town. He was the first person to actually befriend me, and introduced me to the best thing ever, sea salt ice cream. In more recent times however he'd began to sell and use drugs, Seifer was right about that. Even though he used the "codename" Axel, everyone in school knew who he was and what he did. I knew if there was one way to take my mind off things, he had the hook up, and I could get it for free perks of being a best friend I suppose.

I sent him a text asking him if he actually went to school that day. Moments later he responded to me saying I should come over to his house. I changed into some actual clothes, put on my jacket, grabbed my skateboard and headed out. I skated to his house quickly in fear that I'd be seen by my mom or one of her friends. I knew very well that she would already be at work, but whenever I went out without her knowing I always got paranoid. Anywho, just a few minutes later I got to Lea's house and walked in his front door, knocking was something neither of us did anymore.

After walking in and kicking off my shoes I went to his room. I could already smell that he had been smoking, but I didn't dare walk in, last time I saw things that could not be unseen. I knocked on his bedroom door and waited, it was just a few seconds before he opened his door. One of the most noticible things about Lea was his fiery red, spiky hair, you'd swear he used gel, but like me his spikes were supposedly natural.

"What's up Roxy." He greeted me casually, "I was just smoking a quick one before you got here. We're going down into the basement."

I just nodded my head in response and shortly after he led me down into the basement. If the outside of his door had smelt like someone smoking weed, his basement smelled like a full on clam bake. Lea threw all kinds of parties at his house, because the lucky bastard's parents didn't care what he did.

"So how's Aqua? She ask about me lately?" He asked me as he was rolling a joint for us. He was referring to my mom, since the first time he came to my house he's always had a crush on her. When I shook my head and chuckled at him. "I swear I'm gonna hit that someday Roxas, even if she is your mom. You just wait and see."

I couldn't help but laugh at him, the funniest part was that he was dead serious. "Speaking of which" He started off again, "You get any from Naminè yet?"

Just hearing him say her name made me tense up. I hadn't actually told anyone what happened the other and didn't intend to, so I just kept my cool. "Umm, no" I answered, "We've never really done anything like that." Saying just that simple sentence was a lot harder than it should have been. I felt really weird talking about her right then, especially in that context.

He simply shook his head at my reply, "Roxas my boy there's just something you need to understand. She's probably had a pacifier, lollipops, popsicles, bananas. She's been preparing for her whole life." He broke out into hysterical laughter as soon as he finished, as if he'd said the funnies joke in the world. After calming down for a few minutes he started talking again, "Anyway enough about that, time to get high." Now that I could get behind.

A few hours, and a two joints later we were just laying there, him on the couch he had in his basement, and me in the floor. We were in the process of "coming down" and figured it best if we just relaxed the whole time. We were silent for a while, we just laid there he broke the silence eventually though.

"We need to do this more often." He said, as if just thinking out loud. "We don't hang out enough."

"Yeah, for sure." I agreed with him, between getting high and Lea's company my plane of taking my mind off things was a success. Not to mention he was right, we didn't hang out nearly as much as we had in the past. "Especially since this is your last year at school." He went silent for a moment at that, I actually had no idea what his plans were after he graduated, but I always assumed we'd be split up.

"Yeah." He said quietly, "But look at the bright side, we have the better part of a year before I'm going anywhere!" That made him smile, and me as well. Maybe we would be split up soon enough, but there was still a while before that would happen.

When things got silent again I pulled out my phone to check the time, and I'll say I nearly had a heart attack when I did. '7:56' was what it read my mom left work at eight, and I wasn't even supposed to be here. "Shit!" I yelled out as I got up and ran around the basement searching for my jacket.

"What's up with you?" Lea questioned me, I guess me shooting up and yelling like that probably startled him.

"I wasn't supposed to go out today and my mom is getting out of work soon!" I explained while slipping on my jacket that I had just found laying on the ground. "I gotta hurry up and get home, see ya around school or something."

"If you're still alive that is." He added in, clearly amused by my predicament, and his comment did nothing to calm my nerves. I ran out of his basement and to his front door as fast as possible. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my skateboard and was out the door.

I can honestly say that was the fastest skating I'd probably ever did in my life. If I was paranoid about getting caught before, it was nothing compared to what I felt right that second. In any case, I got back to my house in what felt like an hour and I was sure my mom would be waiting for me. Although all the lights were off, which was a good sign I still felt uneasy. I unlocked the door and to my relief everything was fine, she wasn't home yet. I rushed into my room and changed back into the shorts I had been wearing that morning and pretended to sleep.

It felt like it had been another hour or two before my mom got home, but in reality I knew it only took a few minutes. I heard the front door open and I was sure she'd find out I went out somehow. After about another minute or two she finally knocked on my door. "Roxas, you awake?" She said, however she didn't wait for a response and instead came in and flicked on my light.

"Well I am now." I said feigning drowsiness

"So I saw Naminè's mother today at work/" She started off, and I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. How could I have possibly forgotten that our mom's worked together. I wondered how much she knew of what happened the other day if anything. Maybe Naminè hadn't said anything I hoped that was the case. "She told me that Naminè came home crying yesterday and wouldn't tell her why. Do you know anything about that?"

She hadn't known anything other than that Naminè was crying, I could've just lied and said I didn't know anything. That would've just been stupid though my mom knew I walked her home, I would just be suspicious if I said I didn't. Instead I decided to do the only smart thing and just fess up. "When I was walking home with Naminè yesterday we had a fight." I said, purposefully not revealing any details about said fight. When my mom looked at me expectantly I added, "And I may have said a few things I shouldn't have said."

Talking about what had happened just made me feel worse about what I did. The timing couldn't have been worse too, just after I got my mind off of things with a bit of help from Lea. Oh well it was bound to come up eventually I guessed. "I'm not gonna lecture you or anything, but I think you should apologize tomorrow." My mom said to me, "Good night." She gave me a quick hug before going off to her room probably tired after work.

I let out a sigh and sunk into my bed. I thought about it for a moment, I could just go over to her house and apologize. I'm not actually sure why I hadn't thought of something that simple. But then another thought struck me, would a simple apology work? I guess I'd have to find out the next day.

 **A/N:** And there's chapter 2 for you folks! I know I said I'd have this up on Wednesday but there were some complications so here it is on Friday. Anyway please leave a review if you're feeling nice, and I'll try and get chapter 3 to ya in a week or so.


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